Lynn-Avon United's Lotto Northern Premier Women's League side made light of their comparative youth on May 4 to hand the vastly more experienced reigning champions, Eastern Suburbs, a most unexpected 5-2 defeat at Ken Maunder Park. It was a triumph George Vale's young charges richly deserved, and one they set about achieving right from the first whistle, their eagerness to close down Suburbs' rearguard forcing Chelsey Wood and company to play the ball far more hurriedly than they would have preferred, thus forcing errors. Such as in the fifth minute, from which Lynn-Avon took the lead. Sam Tawharu was a cat amongst pigeons in the Suburbs' back-line, and Megan Robertson, who had fired narrowly over the bar from twenty yards at the other end of the park two minutes prior, this time couldn't muster a clearance greater than twenty feet in length. Jade Parris pounced on the loose ball and, from ten yards, fair smashed it past the helpless Rachael Slocum - 1-0 Lynn-Avon, a goal guaranteed to make life interesting for the league co-leaders, albeit a setback from which they had ample time to recover. And so they did, Hannah Kraakman's tenth minute pass allowing Maxine Cooper to get in behind United's defence on Suburbs' left before steering the ball back into the stride of the former Pukekohe starlet. Kraakman duly let fly, only for Rebekah Van Dort to block her shot. The rebound landed at the feet of Dayna Manak, whose twenty yard effort swerved past Corina Brown's left-hand post. Six minutes later, Kraakman sparked another raid, this time with a beautifully weighted pass into the stride of Rebecca Tegg, who was powering through the inside left channel, having temporarily escaped the attention of her marker. The league's leading markswoman looked odds on to equalise, but Brown, racing off her line in an effort to narrow the angle, did enough to force the striker to direct her shot across the face of goal - a real let-off. As was the outcome three minutes later, when Tegg's thirty yard free-kick arced over the defensive wall and dipped dangerously. Brown, at full stretch, did just enough to tip the ball over the bar, but referee James Ashford, looking into the sun, awarded a goal-kick instead. Lynn-Avon had gone close with a long-range free-kick of their own on the quarter hour. Parris, wide out on the left flank, unleashed a real "Garry Owen", the ball soaring up before arcing over the uncertain figure of Slocum, who was relieved to see it clip the angle of the crossbar and far post en route for a goal-kick. When United next threatened, on the half-hour, the outcome was far more to their liking. This time, it was Parris whose relentless harrying as the first line of defence gave Suburbs cause aplenty for concern. Wood, in particular, found her young opponent's presence off-putting, slicing her first attempt to clear the danger, then completely missing the second as it ricocheted off Parris. Tawharu, arriving bang on cue, was the beneficiary, and fair buried the ball in the corner of the net, affording Slocum no chance - 2-0. And from Suburbs' perspective, things were starting to look more than a tad concerning. Still, while the league's leading markswoman was on the park, they were far from out of contention, and after Ellie Jeurissen had unleashed a twenty-five yarder narrowly over the visitors' crossbar, "The Lilywhites" were dragged back into the contest by their prolific striker six minutes before half-time. From United's perspective, it was a terribly soft goal to concede. Tegg gathered the ball in between defenders near the edge of the goal area, and proceeded to shield then turn past them, engineering space from which she rifled a close-range effort into the top far corner of the net - 2-1, and the anticipation that "normal service" wasn't too far away from resuming. Three minutes later, Van Dort's rugged tackle on Melanie Gooch just outside the area prompted referee Ashford to award Suburbs a free-kick. Cue Tegg, who this time opted for a low drive past the defensive wall. Brown plunged to her left to smother the shot on the line. The final act of the half saw United look to restore their two-goal advantage - they were giving the title-holders all sorts of curry, not least Isabella Richards, who worked her socks off for the cause from first whistle to last. Her efforts, on this occasion, earned her possession, which she swiftly switched to Parris. Her clever dummy allowed her to beat an opponent before spreading play wide to Gina Swanney, who was storming downfield at a great rate of knots. Without breaking stride, she took the ball on before letting fly, forcing a smothered save from Slocum. The half-time break saw plenty of discussion taking place, much of it along the lines of "Could Lynn-Avon keep this up?" The answer was but three minutes away, following play's resumption. Bella Kingi played the ball to Parris, who directed it back towards Swanney, who was joining the attack

from her right-back role once again. Down the right she galloped once more before picking out Parris with a measured near post cross. The Young Ferns striker launched herself forward to meet it, and was completely airborne when she met the ball with a deft lobbed finish, the ball arcing over Slocum and under the bar - 3-1, and the possibility of the upset of the season so far becoming a reality was now very real indeed. How would Suburbs react to this? Initially, they didn't, because Parris could well have had her hat-trick goal just three minutes after netting her second one. Richards won the ball in midfield, beat an opponent then sent Swanney stampeding down the right once more. The fullback's cross on the run found Parris racing in on the far post, but her tame first-time shot on the run while under pressure trickled harmlessly through to Slocum, who hadn't bargained on this situation materialising on her first game back at her old club! Suburbs knew they had a real fight on their hands if they were going to get something from this game, and Marlies James showed that she was well up for the challenge in the 57th minute. Catching Swanney in possession, the former Football Ferns star exploited the space in behind the fullback before picking out Tegg with a near-post cross. Without breaking stride, and with complete disregard for the two defenders closing on her, she unleashed a splendid first-time strike which fair sizzled past Brown en route to the far corner of the net - 3-2, and game very much on! For all of two minutes, at which point one of the most bizarre goals you're ever likely to see came to pass, and with it came the realisation that today simply was not meant to be for the reigning champions. Richards sent Kingi racing down the right, only for James to track back and cut off the threat posed by the midfielder. The ball broke loose, prompting James to fly in with one of her crunching block tackles, the outcome of which usually sees Suburbs retain possession. Not this time, however. The ball spun wildly skywards off Kingi's shin guard, all the time heading in the general direction of Suburbs' goal. By the time Slocum judged the trajectory, she was unable to reposition herself adequately to deal with it, and the sight of the ball arcing ever so agonisingly over her head and into the net by the far post … James couldn't help but smile. It simply wasn't meant to be for Suburbs on this day, and this most fortuitous of goals just summed it all up. If the Lynn-Avon squad was old enough, they'd be queuing at the Lotto counter. But they earned their good fortune in this match through their industry and endeavour, which Richards and Parris, as the first line of defence, most epitomised. A fifth goal? Why not? A mere six minutes after scoring in bizarre fashion, United struck in far simpler terms, a goal which Suburbs' defence should still be having nightmares about. Quite what was going on back there defies logic, but Leah Mettam and Parris didn't care a jot! The fullback's long throw-in picked out the completely unmarked striker, who simply turned and steered home her hat-trick strike beyond the stranded figure of Slocum - 5-2, and yes, it really was that simple! Not long afterwards, Parris' day was done, a mid-air challenge seeing the striker kick the ball as her opponent, in attempting to do likewise, kicked Parris' boot instead. United's hat-trick heroine swivelled and slumped to the ground, unable to continue. But she had already done enough damage, something to which Suburbs will eagerly testify. Swanney, Tawharu and Kingi went close for the home team in the next ten minutes, while Suburbs' attempts to nab a third goal before the end saw Leanne Tiffen's full-blooded volley flash inches over the bar after she had been picked out by fellow substitute Flora McLeod nine minutes from time. Five minutes later, James and Tiffen linked up with Gooch, who weaved her way through three challenges before curling a twenty-yarder narrowly past Brown's left-hand post. The horse had long since bolted in this contest, however, Lynn-Avon inflicting upon Suburbs their heaviest loss in two years. Afterwards, the words of legendary Inter Milan manager Helenio Herrera sprang to mind, words spoken after he had seen his side comprehensively dismantled by Liverpool in the 1965 European Cup semi-final at Anfield. "We have been beaten before, but tonight we were defeated". That was very much the case on this occasion, too. And make no mistake, Lynn-Avon richly deserved it. Lynn-Avon:     Brown; Swanney, Anton, Van Dort, Mettam; Kingi, Richards, Jeurissen; Tawharu (Jorgensen, 82), Parris ((Janes, 68), Hawkins (Bloomfield, 60) Suburbs:     Slocum; Wong, Wood, Robertson, James; Hawker, Manak (McLeod, 65), Kraakman (Trowill, 75); Gooch, Tegg, Cooper (Tiffen, 70) Referee:     James Ashford