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07/06/98
In A Different League
by Jeremy Ruane
Just how good is Three Kings United’s Premier Women’s team? Claudelands Rovers will happily testify that they’re the best footballing team in the country after what the Bluebird Northern Premier Women’s League leaders did to the Waikato side on June 7 at Keith Hay Park.
The prescribed script had this match marked down as a possible upset, one in which the third-placed side had a great opportunity to cause a major boilover against the SWANZ Cup holders, six members of whom had just arrived home from the ‘Champions Tour’ which the national women’s team had just completed.
Indeed, Maia Jackman, one of the six, had arrived home this very morning, and had virtually come straight to the ground from the airport. Meanwhile, Michele Cox, United’s captain, was still on her travels, so the league leaders had to do without the promptings of their midfield maestro.
It must be said, for once she wasn’t missed. Because Three Kings turned what should have been a closely-fought league encounter into the nearest thing you’ll get to a footballing clinic during the course of a match.
Rovers were comprehensively outclassed, 13-0, by a side whom you would never have guessed hadn’t played together in a month. At the end of the game, the visitors left the pitch with their confidence in tatters, their looks of bewilderment so similar to those of the touring England rugby team barely twelve hours previously, after their eleven try dismissal by Australia.
As for Three Kings, well, where do you start? Truth be told, there was a hint of what was to unfold in the opening minutes of the match, with United thrice testing Rovers’ ‘keeper, Nette Lowe, in the first three minutes.
Pernille Andersen and Monique Van de Elzen were both denied by the shot-stopper, while Andersen also hit the post in this time, at the end of a beautifully constructed right wing raid which featured Van de Elzen and Jackman.
Maria Wilkie went close soon after, Tarah Cox and Jane Simpson combining to release the speedster, who completely bemused Maree Thompson before sending a thumping twenty-yard drive inches past the upright.
The passes were now beginning to flow like fine wine, and a seventh minute raid fully deserved a goal. Simpson played the ball to Andersen, whose fine first touch allowed her to release Jackman at pace down the right. She played the ball inside to Van de Elzen, whose first touch created a shooting opportunity which Lowe smothered.
The ‘keeper pulled off a fine stop to prevent Thompson slicing a clearance into her own net minutes later, before Three Kings finally registered their first goal of the day, in the eleventh minute. A super through ball by Marlies Oostdam found Andersen, who feinted away from her marker in order to make space for herself before slamming home an angled drive across Lowe and into the far corner of the net.
Lowe blocked at Wilkie’s feet three minutes later, before Andersen missed the sort of chance she normally eats for breakfast in the eighteenth minute. Again the quality of the creativity was sublime, Van de Elzen playing the ball down the line for Beth Clark, who in turn fed Wilkie. Her back-heel, through a defender’s legs, had the same effect on Rovers’ defence as that had by an electric can-opener on a tin of sardines! Andersen’s wayward finish, from ten yards, was nowhere near as surgically precise, a fact confirmed by the outburst of Danish which followed!!
She made up for it a minute later, Wilkie, Simpson and Clark combining to allow the SWANZ striker to pick out the far corner of the net for the second time in the match.
Jackman made it 3-0 in the 22nd minute, drilling home from twelve yards after Rovers’ defence had made a right meal of clearing a flicked Andersen header intended for her SWANZ team-mate. Melita Harrison and Wilkie combined to set up Van de Elzen in the 25th minute, only for the former SWANZ international to drill her shot narrowly past the far post.
Seconds later, the scoreboard ticked over again, Andersen’s left flank raid and teasing cross resulting in Jackman’s header goalwards. Lowe had it covered, but the intervention of Rikki Williams, in attempting to head clear, saw the ball dropping from a near-impossible angle over the head of the unfortunate Lowe. Though she got her hands to the ball, she couldn’t prevent this “oggie” - 4-0.
Van de Elzen drilled a twenty-yarder straight at Lowe soon after, while a magnificently flighted cross from Wilkie in the 29th minute was so good that Andersen, of all people, contrived to miss the ball entirely.
On the stroke of the half hour came goal number five, Jackman’s second. Andersen’s drive was blocked by the legs of Lowe, only for Jackman, following up like all good strikers should in such situations, to gleefully accept the chance to roll the ball home into an empty net.
One of the goals of the game came in the 33rd minute. Simpson turned defence into attack with a surging run out of defence, before releasing Wilkie down the right. The 1997 SWANZ Cup Final MVP clipped the most delicate of twenty-five yard chips over the head of the hapless ‘keeper, the ball dropping just under the crossbar for a sublime sixth strike - a classic goal.
Lowe denied Andersen in the 38th minute, Van de Elzen, Jackman and Wilkie all having contributed to another riveting example of fine approach play. A minute later, Van de Elzen was at her brilliant best, bamboozling two opponents with a combination of a turn and top-drawer technique before releasing Jackman. Her cross was made to measure for a first-time Andersen volley into the top corner, but the striker’s effort cleared the bar by a foot, if that.
Simpson, Jackman and Wilkie - yet another tantalising cross from her - combined to allow Andersen to complete her hat-trick in the 42nd minute, the striker heading home despite Lowe’s efforts to turn the ball to safety. The ’keeper ensured that 7-0 would be the half-time score by saving from Clark and Andersen before the interval, but it wasn’t too long after the resumption when it came time for her to resume the task of picking the ball out of the net.
United were in irresistible form, caressing the ball around the number one ground’s now bowling green-like surface with stunning precision. Rare indeed was the sight of a stray pass, as the privileged few who made it their business to attend this match - there were more travelling Claudelands fans present than there were Three Kings United club members (! - shame on you!!) - were treated to a footballing exhibition par excellence, one which the world’s footballing fraternity would have been drooling over had it taken place at the World Cup Finals.
As for forward forays by the visitors, Rachel Howard, in the sticks for United, hardly touched the ball throughout the entire match! Straight from the start of the second half, however, the visitors burst forth down the right, with Selena Holmes leading the charge. The combined intervention of Melita Harrison and Helen Exler sparked yet another Three Kings raid, however, one which resulted in Lowe scrambling across her goal to make certain Andersen’s shot was indeed going past the far post.
After Jackman had volleyed a Clark cross narrowly over the crossbar, Three Kings notched up number eight in the 53rd minute, and it, too, was of the classic variety. Cox, ten yards inside her own half, squared the ball to Simpson, an action which prompted Andersen to set off on a diagonal run from left to right.
Simpson had seen the opportunity opening up at the same time, and on receipt of the ball, played it forward into the space into which Andersen was moving, near the edge of the penalty area. Two touches later, the second being a shot, and the ball was nestling in the far corner of the net - a strike majestic in both its conception and execution.
Not satisfied with this, a minute later, United were sniffing around for a ninth goal. Van de Elzen - if this was to be her last match for Three Kings before retiring again, she couldn’t have wished for a more memorable finale! - started a run which took two opponents out before Andersen’s pass had even reached her.
Two further Rovers players fell by the wayside as Van de Elzen’s first-time pass picked out Wilkie, whose curling effort crept inches past the upright, ending yet another attack which was deserving of better fate.
Goal number nine was struck in the 55th minute. Harrison sent Andersen scampering away down the left, and she beat two players before cutting inside. With Wilkie screaming for the ball inside her, the SWANZ striker opted to shoot, only for Lowe to save with her legs. “Speedo” made no mistake with the rebound.
Three minutes later, double-figures were reached, so, too, Jackman’s hat-trick. Oostdam’s corner was played short to Simpson, whose cross Rovers somehow allowed to creep through to a player who was still finding her feet after a tiring flight home. Jackman’s natural instincts took over, and the net duly bulged yet again!
In the 62nd minute, Wilkie slipped the ball through for Andersen to fire home the eleventh goal of the day. Four minutes later, following a Clark corner, Oostdam hit a screamer from fully twenty-five yards which narrowly cleared the crossbar, and the creek behind the goal as well!!
Renee Brookland entered the fray at Clark’s expense in the 67th minute, and promptly made her mark with a fine ball from the left which picked out the blindside run of Van de Elzen to perfection. Under pressure, she could only steer her shot straight at Lowe.
A minute later, Wilkie curled the ball across for Andersen, who, as cool as you like, volleyed unerringly into the far corner of the net to complete her double hat-trick, against her old club to boot!
The scoring was completed in the 69th minute in glorious fashion. Van de Elzen and Oostdam worked a short corner routine, and the latter slung in a cross which dropped invitingly in the vicinity of the near post. Jackman raced towards the dropping sphere, and twisted her neck to direct her header across Lowe and into the far corner - a better example of a glancing header you could not wish to see!
At this point, the shell-shocked Claudelands team broke out as one in an ironic cheer, Andersen having indicated that she had done her dash for today. She trotted off to make way for Karin Jensen, who immediately got involved in the game, combining with Harrison to release Wilkie on the right. Another teasing cross duly followed, targeting Brookland and Van de Elzen, both of whom were in the danger zone. So, too, was Lowe - she won the battle this time.
Harrison and Brookland combined on the left to create an opening for Van de Elzen in the 79th minute, but her shot cleared the crossbar. Soon after, Cox and Simpson linked on the right to engineer a chance for Jackman, whose shot met the same fate as the one immediately before it.
In the 85th minute, a fine Cox pass picked out Brookland, ghosting in behind the Rovers’ defence. Her looping header drifted narrowly past the upright, Lowe an admiring spectator on this occasion, as she and her team-mates, as well as the hardy few watching on the sidelines, had been for much of the match, courtesy a stunning performance by a Three Kings United Premier Women’s side which, despite the absence of their captain and midfield general, still produced football of such quality that you could well be forgiven for thinking that, compared to third-placed Rovers, the competition leaders were in a different league.
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